BDSM Top 10 Q+A

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Ten Questions and Answers About BDSM

 

01) What exactly is BDSM?

Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) is any circumstances where humans, of their own free choice, expand the personal power fundamentals between them and the act this out for their gratification. This may be sexual gratification, however it not always be.

 

02) Are there different forms of BDSM?

Yes there are many different forms of BDSM. The two main forms are these:

 

· Lifestyle BDSM - This is the form where partners embed BDSM elements in their relationship in some way.

· Kink or fetish BDSM - This is the form where humans, occasionally, seek to use power elements, predominantly for their sexual pleasure, without turning it into a lifestyle.

 

We perceive that it is important for the reader to understand that one is not perceived to be more important, or more real, than the other. The two forms are just different. Quite often humans grow from "kink" to "lifestyle

 

03) Is BDSM considered an abnormal activity?

There are power elements in all forms of human behaviour: at work, at home, in politics, in sports and in (sexual) relationships. Magnifying the power element in your relationship is not abnormal. The current opinion among professionals (laid down in various diagnostic manuals, such as the American Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) is that consensual power exchange between informed and well-adjusted adults is normal and harmless (sexual) behaviour.

 

04) What "causes" BDSM outlook?

It is not entirely clear to the psychological sciences, why some humans are attracted to BDSM and others are not. It appears that genetic encoding may have something to do with this and it may also be that upbringing, social environment and education may have an influence. To be very honest about it, the answer is simply not known at this time. Based on research by for example the Kinsey Institute, Cosmopolitan, Time Magazine and several European universities and other sources it is estimated that between 15 and 30 percent of the adult Western population nurtures some form of BDSM sensation.

 

05) Why is there such a social stigma on BDSM?

A significant part of the general public opinion on BDSM is based on very outdated information, such the over 100 years old "Psychopatia Sexualis" (written by R. von Kraft-Ebing at the end of the 19th century C.E.) and research by Sigmund Freud in the early 20th century. Also, xenophobia (fear of the unknown) plays an important role when it comes to the general opinion about BDSM and so does ill-informed coverage of the subject by excess oriented media. Lack of reliable, diligent scientific research on the subject also plays a part in this. Most research was done by therapists, seeking to promote themselves or their "therapy" rather than thoroughly researching the phenomena as such.

 

06) Is this true that humans who are very dominant in real life are actually submissive in bed?

The unlikely explanation concerning high profile politicians or managers seeking to be submissive in the bed originates from prostitutes ("commercial mistresses") attempting to promote their services. A clearer concept is that there is not any proven connection between general social behaviour and sexual behaviour. Sexual behaviour is a very individual thing, hence very different for individual humans.

 

07) Are humans with a BDSM-inclination not actually all victims of childhood trauma or abuse?

Scientific research has taught that the number of humans with a (juvenile or other) traumatic background is neither any greater nor smaller than it is in any other social group. One will find trauma victims in every social group. Having stated this, the general level of tolerance within the "BDSM group" allows for more discussion about such subjects and the "BDSM community" is one of the very few social groups that actually and actively sets up to assist and support facilities for such cases. There is not any reason why humans with a trauma history ought not to enter into BDSM activities, provided they seek professional assistance and, on a personal level, attempt to deal with the trauma foremost and externally of a BDSM situation.

 

08) At what age do BDSM sensations emerge?

About 25 percent of the "BDSM population" (according to research by the Powerotics Foundation) has nurtured BDSM type sensations from a very young age. Often, this group is capable of remembering being fascinated by power situations before the age of 12. Many others however "discover" their BDSM preference at a much later stage, most often after dramatic events in their personal life, such as a divorce. The reason for this probably is in the fact that such events causes humans to think about themselves, their personalities, preferences and requirements.

 

09) Why are many people so secretive about their BDSM sensations?

Regardless the subject: it is not easy to have to tell the world you are "different". This is true for everyone, who nurtures sensations, feelings or ideals that do not coinside with their social environment. Humans, brought up in a business-environment, will often have a inflexible time informing their parents and friends they would rather be a painter or an actress, for example. Gay humans face a similar predicament and so do democrats who came from a traditional republican nest. The phenomena is known as "coming out (of the closet)" (telling your environment you are different) and that is a difficult process that requires a great deal of juggling between defending and explaining yourself to a probably unwilling audience. Humans with a BDSM inclination face the same perceived problem. Quite often this even leads to a situation where humans regretfully are too scared to even tell their partner about their sensations.

 

10) If so many humans nurture these sensations at young age, why is not there any information available for them?

Much, unfortunately, depends on the country you were born in. Fact is that in most countries sexual education in general leaves much to be desired. World wide research has shown that as much as 70 percent of the population picks up their sexual information "from the street" (i.e. friends, pornography, excess-oriented media, etcetera) and are not or very poorly educated by their parents or school. The current political climate, with very superficial and ill-informed opinions about sexuality, makes it challenging for organisations to set up proper information programms in many countries. The other perceived problem is that not everyone, who (temporarily) may nurture BDSM type sensations during puberty and adolescence, eventually develops a persistent interest in BDSM, since much of this has to do with the more general sexual experimental phase; everyone goes through at young age. It is very important youngsters follow their own path, without too many outside influences. This forms a dilemma for organisations, seeking to provide information.

 


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