Energy Orgasms -- Further Explained

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Can you explain energy orgasms?

Johanina Wikoff


Q: Can you explain the energy orgasm a little more, and how can men achieve this? You say that males can last as long as they want during sex, but if you have to continually stop to cool yourself down, doesn’t that take the woman out of the mood? How can a man last and also not have to break from actual coitus?


A: This is a question that we have been asked frequently. Though it is commonly believed that ejaculation and orgasm happen together, they are not the same event. Orgasm is the involuntary contraction of muscles in the pelvic area. Ejaculation is the release of semen through the penis.

In clinical terms, the process occurs when stimulation of the nerves in the penis reaches a level that causes a response from the spinal cord. This sets in motion a chain of events that starts when the muscles around the epidymis contract to squirt sperm up into the vas deferens. The sperm merge into the stream of semen being secreted from the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland.

The point at which the prostate gland releases this mixture into the urethra is sometimes call the "moment of inevitability" because after this happens there is no stopping the orgasm and ejaculation. Further contractions of the muscles in the pelvic area send the stream of semen spurting through the urethra and out the penis.

It is possible for a man to reach orgasm and not ejaculate. In some men, this happens when the valve that closes off the bladder during ejaculation fails to work properly. Instead of shooting through the urethra and out the tip of the penis, the semen streams into the bladder. This is called retrograde ejaculation, and is both harmless and painless. It becomes an issue only if a couple is trying to conceive, as there is no semen leaving the man.

Men can also learn to consciously control ejaculation, delaying it indefinitely while enjoying riding the edge of pleasure in multiple energy orgasms. It is possible to become sensitive to, and approach the point before ejaculation and then cool the energy down a bit. Sometimes the penis becomes slightly less hard, until the energy builds again. You can continue love play in this way for a long time before climaxing and you can also come to orgasm but not ejaculate. Though this takes practice to master, anyone can learn to recognize the subtle changes that take place in their bodies immediately before ejaculation.

For many men, orgasm and ejaculation are the goals of sexual loving. For them, ejaculation signals the culmination and release of sexual tension. The energy orgasm defocuses attention from ejaculation and directs it toward the energetic sensations that are experienced when you are not goal-oriented in your lovemaking. With practice, you can make love for extended periods of time coming close to the point of inevitability, but not going over the edge. This surfing the edge allows a highly pleasurable energetic charge to build that many men say they enjoy at least as much as the ejaculatory orgasm. Some prefer this extended ride of orgasmic energy.

I suggest you learn to navigate your own edge by yourself. Then, involve your partner by sharing what you have in mind and asking them, as you near the point of inevitability, to slow their movements down and relax as you do so. If you experience your penis softening, you will usually regain your erection as the energy builds again. The kind of communication and awareness that this cultivates in partners is bonding and connective for partners.

Here is how you begin to cultivate the ability to ride the wave of the energy orgasm:

  • Just as if you were creating a space for you and your partner to enjoy sexual loving, light a candle, put on soft music and spend a few minutes relaxing your body as you deepen you breath.
  • Use a good massage or coconut oil and begin to pleasure yourself.
  • When you feel yourself getting close to the edge of ejaculating, almost to the point of no return, stop stimulating yourself and become still.
  • Relax your anal and genital muscles (Kegel exercises – strengthening the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle - will help you develop control.) Continue to breath deeply and slowly.
  • Press your tongue against the center of your upper palate to ground your energy and help delay ejaculation.
  • Begin to build the energy again toward climax, slowing down as you get to the edge.
  • Repeat this several times, building, cooling, noticing the quality of energy. You can, if you wish, culminate with ejaculation or not.

Men and women who learn to ride the wave in this way report the energy they experience and the sense of closeness. Their intimate connection lasts long beyond the lovemaking, leaving them feeling ecstatic and alive.


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