Why Married Women Cheat

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By Mona Gallagher
Ask ten married women why they had an affair and you would probably get ten different answers. There is no one, all inclusive, answer to why some married women have affairs. But we do know some of the answers to this question.
For a few women, affairs are not relevant because she and her spouse have an open relationship, meaning, that they are free to have relationships with others. I find that extremely difficult to comprehend, but according to a survey done not long ago, it's true.
Opportunity and proximity are another reason for affairs. Husbands and wives both work out of the home in a large number of households. He's a good husband, is attentive to the children and he helps with domestic chores. When he finally goes to bed, it's for sleep and not for sex. At the office, she shares stimulating conversations and catches the eye of a co-worker. They talk, he admires her abilities and her beauty; he builds up her sense of worth and attractiveness. Sparks fly between them and you have the recipe for a full blown affair.
Stay at home moms are vulnerable too. She has young children and is somewhat isolated from the community. Her husband often works late, and is tired when he comes home. His participation in the family unit is very small. She volunteers at a hospital for two days a day week just to get out of the house and make new acquaintances. She meets a man who pays her a lot of attention and she feels excited and needed for the first time in a long time.
Another type of woman who has affairs is the risk taker who is looking for a thrill. Her marriage is not exciting but she loves her spouse. She has affairs but has no intention of leaving her husband. Occasionally, this woman does get caught and loses her family.
A recent survey showed that 15% of married men and 7% of married women have had sexual affairs. The affairs usually happen between the third and fifth years of marriage, but can happen anytime in the marriage. Most of the time the spouses believe that they have 'totally' gotten away without being detected.
A high percentage of women don't cheat because they know the risk of tearing apart the family and its not worth taking the risk.
One way to keep a marriage intact is to resolve conflict before it reaches the point of no return. Unhealthy marriages are filled with depression, anger and hostility. That's not good for a love-life or a family.
By Cassie Kristof
I've thought about it. Friends I know have thought about it, some have even acted upon it, but I haven't - yet. More and more married women are having affairs for many and varied reasons.
Marrying Young: She found herself married at a young age. Perhaps she felt she had to get married because of a pregnancy or perhaps she felt she had truly found love. Sooner or later she realizes marriage isn't what it's cracked up to be. She's missed out on those years of discovering who she really is and finds she has outgrown her husband. He has had his chance to party and probably still does whilst she takes on the mother role. The solution? She tries to find herself with somebody else. She looks for someone more mature than her husband, or has several short affairs with other men. She may begin to party herself in an effort to enjoy the life she feels she has missed out on.
Seeking that First Time Feeling: She remembers what it was like to have all of those 'first' feelings. The butterflies in the tummy, the first kiss, holding hands the first time together with a new partner. She knows that will never happen again now she is married and she misses that feeling, she begins to crave it. There seems to be no romance left in her husband and their relationship now the ring is on her finger. She seeks someone romantic to put the butterflies back in her tummy.
Feeling Unloved or Unappreciated: He works all the time. She spends all of her time caring for the kids, running the household and perhaps working too. She feels as if there is nobody to care for her and that nobody appreciates what she does. she finds somebody who flirts with her and makes her feel special. This new man tells her she is beautiful and actually looks at her when he says it
Tired of the Mundane: She has been married for a while, they have a set routine and she begins to realize that she is bored with the way her life has turned out. He is too busy to give her the excitement she craves. She find somebody who makes her feels excitement. He is possibly younger, possibly a little dangerous and very different to her husband.
Not Getting Any: Believe it or not, sometimes it is the man who suffers from a lack of libido after the kids arrive. Mum is just that to her husband now, 'Mum' and she is not getting any - or if she is it has become very routine and boring in the bedroom. She finds someone else to satisfy her libido.
He Was Just There: She met him at work, or at a party or somewhere that her husband wasn't. They were flirting, and it just happened. It's not only men who find themselves making this mistake - women are only human after all. Once it began though, it was a little hard to end...
There are many other reasons that a married woman may have an affair. It all comes down to her personality, integrity, situation and opportunity. What it is important to remember though, is that no marriage is saved by having an affair. The guilt will most likely eat away at the woman, and if the husband finds out it is a rare man who will be able to move on, forgive and forget. Like I said before, I have thought about it and I'm sure many other married women have too - we are all only human. But acting on that impulse can never be taken back.
by Krystle Hernendaz
Infidelity is often cited as one of the most common causes of divorce. While it may be true that an incidence of infidelity may mark the beginning of a relationships decay, infidelity is rarely the cause of problems, instead serving mostly as a symptom.
A common myth exists that men are commonly the initiators of adulterous acts and that only they succumb to emotional or physical temptation; however, this notion could not be further from the truth. Just as many women as men engage in either emotional or sexual affairs.
Some partners who have experienced the consequences of infidelity first hand may have been left wondering why their partners chose to have an affair. Many times, these individuals will blame themselves for failing to keep their partner's interest. However, infidelity has very little to do with the unknowing partner who ultimately becomes a victim and more to do with the person committing the adulterous act.
There are usually three catalysts to affairs, both emotional and physical in nature. In some cases, individuals will essentially have some "element" pull them towards an affair, such as sexual temptation or sexual impulses. In other cases, an issue within their relationship or some personal motivation will push them towards infidelity.
Some common reasons why married women have affair have a lot to do with emotions and feelings. Most situations will involve some form of "spiritual" connection or physical attraction. Many women simply want companionship that their husbands do not provide for them, for whatever reason. Some women feel a surge of power by defining their husbands and sneaking around in order to commit adulterous acts. Others will feel the adrenaline rush and the excitement from this risk.
The bottom line is that no single (or simple) answer exists to the question of why some married women have affairs. In any case, infidelity is usually the sign of some maladaptive aspect of the relationship. Couples who have experienced some from of infidelity amongst each other should undoubtedly seeking counseling. An unbiased third party professional will mediate discussions about the impacts and consequences of infidelity on your relationship and any plans you will make to overcome these negative outcomes and focus on the positive things you've learned by going through this experience.
by Carol Wohlfiel
Why Married Women Have Affairs
Most women marry believing that nothing in the world will ever change how they feel about their husband. They may even feel outraged when hearing about other women who are having affairs, and consider them weak and immoral for their behavior. But as time passes, many suddenly find themselves in situations that may tempt them or even lead them to be unfaithful. What causes love to fade, emotional fireworks to burn out, and an ever-widening gap to develop between two people? There can be many reasons, but the pain, anger, and guilt that result are always part of the end product.
As divorce becomes more and more commonplace in our society, young people learn from example that relationships, even marriage, are only temporary situations. "Forever" has become a thing of the past. People have become more selfish and demanding in their expectations. And everyday stresses are overwhelming. Often an affair happens as a means of escaping the everyday hardships of life. It allows for random moments when the participants can indulge in fantasy. Unfortunately, when caught, the reality is much harder than the life they were trying to escape.
Many women justify their extra-marital affairs on the grounds that their husbands don't appreciate them or show them enough attention. They feel they are taken for granted. To some degree, that may be true. But before running out and finding someone on the side, a woman needs to examine the possible reasons she feels her husband may be acting that way. Is he working long hours? Is he under a great deal of stress? Has she tried to talk to him about how she is feeling? Many women don't take the time to do this. They are hurt and angry because life didn't turn out as they expected. And suddenly the opportunity is there for an affair, and they jump in with both feet.
Most women who are having affairs will admit that they still love their husbands very much, they don't want to hurt them, and they believe they can continue these activities without their husbands ever finding out. This unrealistic outlook is usually based on the belief that he doesn't really notice anyway. But you'd be surprised at how much he actually does notice. And as time goes on, the woman will become more careless in her adventures until she gets caught.
Marriage is built on more than love and romance. Any relationship that is lacking trust will have little chance of survival. Cheating destroys trust. If you are considering having an affair or are currently involved in an affair, take the time to consider what you stand to lose. Is it really worth it? Think about all the reasons you married this man in the first place. Make an effort to rekindle the flame. Most of all, don't allow the tough times to draw you into behavior that you will spend the rest of life regretting or being ashamed of.

Marriage is a difficult job. It takes effort and patience and strength. Realizing that before saying "I do" will spare you and the one you love a great deal of heartache


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#1 MasterJai 2013-06-07 16:52
From the married women with whom I speak, most often appears the partner neglects their needs. From the BDSM world, I think there are many unclear Masters. Masters are not properly providing security and safety. They are recklessly endangering and have unclear perceptions of the role. I would like to see some articles here about how one is to be a clear Master to assist with misperceptions that exist.

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